Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I would love some input

I babysit kids in my home during the day - this is to supplement our income while Jordan finishes off his Masters, which should be done in April. I plan on taking kids only part time after he finds work (assuming he can earn enough for us to get by) Skyler loves having other kids around to play with, and does miss it when they are not here. For the most part the kids play really well together. I have not told their mom that I am pregnant yet, although I am not going to be able to hide it much longer, my hope was that I could tell her it was my last month with the kids at the same time, but I can't quit until Jordan has a Job.

Nathan, the little boy that I babysit is 4 1/2 years old, and can be a good kid, but he is very rough and destructive. I finally told his mom that she would have to pay to replace the things that he is breaking each month because it is way more than is reasonable. Last month she payed an extra 350 dollars to replace bins that toys are stored in, our wooden toy box, and a few of the kids new toys.

On Saturday I spent a good portion of the day buying the replacements for the house so that I can put last months things behind us.

Today Nathan broke on of those brand new toys (a digger that has a drill to build it and take it apart) then he shredded the lid to a puzzle, then he broke 3 of the bins that store toys in the basement, and I can't even remember what else he wrecked. He was using the little kids table as a launching site, and jumping off of it among other things.

Needless to say I was a little bit unhappy with him today, His Mom came to pick him up, and I was telling her of the events of the day, and she says to me that I need to take the toys that he can wreck and not let him play with them - she also made this comment earlier about the boys hockey sticks, any hard balls, and a number of other things. - My thoughts are that I should not have to censer every toy in the basement because he might brake it, they are all toys built and designed for toddlers and preschoolers, so why should I hide most every toy from my own children, and the other children that I care for because this 4 1/2 year old boy cannot control himself? He does not have any disorders, and it is not impulsive behavior either, but is very much premeditated.

Then his mom asks my why I have bins in the basement to begin with... Am I supposed to give up on any form of organization as well???

Am I being totally unreasonable? she sure makes me feel that way.


Laura said...

that is tough...she should not complain about if you should have bins or not. He seems to old to be that destructive. I think that was smart of you to have her pay for the things her wrecks though.

Carla said...

never having a dayhome myself, these are my thoughts.
good for you asking her to pay for the things he breaks. as far as you making exceptions for this 41/2 boy who should know better, you shouldn't have to. taking toys away from the majority of the kids who play with them, seems to me just unreasonable that she should even ask. and the bins...let's get real. yes she is paying you to watch her son, but not paying you do discipline him. not sure if you can do this, but unless you really need that child for income purposes, i'd say let her know you can't keep him there. you just can't afford it for one, and it's not fair for the other kids to suffer from lack of toys, etc, just due to one child.
good luck.

D. said...

I just stumbled onto your blog...I ran a dayhome for the year and a half before I had my own kids. The best thing is to institute a method of time-out/in for him when he starts getting rough with the toys. Most mom's are okay with this. He will learn quick that he won't be playing much if he is rough with the toys and in time out all day. From my own experience, a lack of discipline/attention at home usually leads to that type of behaviour. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

uggh thats hard! I don't know how yu do it all. And I think you are right to feel that way!

Sheila said...

I know you need the income.. Are there other children out there that you could have in your home instead of him? People are always in need of good homes for child care and I know you are one of them. Good luck. Pray about it.

Sandi said...

I agree with D. He may have no direction at home and you can't change that, but you can set rules with consequences and then be sure you follow through EVERY TIME. It is hard on you, but good for him and you will benefit in the end. Also, way to go on asking her to replace broken items, if she doesn't like it she can find another place to take him. No, you should not have to change your lifestyle to accomodate him. He is not special needs, just out of control.